Potentially but Probably Not Poisonous Peanuts (Friday, 1/22)

We were under orders to buy some boiled peanuts. The one who gave us the orders even gave us a little cash to support our peanut-buying efforts. So today, as we drove along, Nan said “Be sure you stop somewhere so we can buy boiled peanuts.” The first few places we saw offering boiled peanuts were on the wrong side of a busy road and/or had no space for us to park our combination wheels. But then I spotted a place on our side of a quiet stretch of road somewhere near Live Oak, Florida, with an easy place to pull over and park. So I stopped and we met Andy. Andy’s house is set back maybe 20 feet from this stretch of two-lane highway, and he’s making good use of that convenient location by turning the whole thing into a make-shift business. Yes, he sells boiled peanuts, both regular and Cajun flavored. But he also sells a range of other things including small stacks of firewood, tomatoes, potted plants, pecans, and additional items in nondescript containers that I couldn’t readily identify. Andy is a delightful guy, quickly inviting the four of us in to see his peanut boilers, showing us the jugs in which he prepares his own personal peanut-flavoring recipes, and explaining in detail the multi-boiling process he uses to make the peanuts just right. I’ll admit I didn’t pay close enough to all the details to be able to recount here the entire process, but Nan and I both clearly recall him mentioning rinsing the peanuts in “brown water.” Why we didn’t question what he meant by that as we ate through our free sample of peanuts I’m not certain, but I will say hearing those few words instantly put the whole peanut-process into a different light for me. Standing there in a cluttered old attached-garage space that contained everything from a collection of railroad spikes to several aging refrigerators to piles of old moving-blankets to pictures of family members to peanut boilers, it struck me that the health department doesn’t likely spend a lot of time inspecting the local personal-peanut-boiler industry. Obviously, the nuts are boiled several times, so there’s some comfort for us peanut-eaters in that, but boiled in what? With what additives? Just what might one put into one’s “own special recipe” of flavors or what might constitute “brown water”?

Don’t get me wrong here. I’ll again say that Andy was a delightful guy, and we’ve eaten quite a few of the boiled peanuts we bought from him with no apparent ill effects. (Nan’s been our biggest boiled-peanut eater, with a particular love for the Cajun nuts. The rest of us haven’t been able to fully convince ourselves that peanuts are supposed to be so soft in texture, even if they do taste good, so we’ve been eating them at a slower rate.) But when you buy food along the roadside, you’re taking a unique leap of faith. In this case, you’re trusting that the peanut-boiler knows what he’s doing. That his own special recipe contains normal food ingredients and not strange chemicals, eye of newt, or parts of his annoying dog Mange who’s been missing since last summer. That he’s just plain a guy selling something he’s proud of to people he hopes will enjoy it. So far, none of us is any the worse for wear after eating our boiled peanuts, and we were happy to support Andy in his efforts to make a living. He makes some very nice regular boiled peanuts, some powerfully spicy Cajun style nuts (my eyes are still watering), and some interesting conversation when he’s showing you how he does it. We only wish we’d have added a stack of his firewood to our purchases, as we arrived at a new campground this afternoon to find they’re completely out of firewood and we aren’t supposed to gather our own.

So anyway, today we tried boiled peanuts and we supported a fine small businessman. We’d like to thank Andy for his nuts, Kristi for the boiled encouragement and raw support, and the Florida board of health for minding their own business. It was tasty, educational, and gave us more than a few chuckles as we rode along in the car eating our peanuts and wondering what kinds of symptoms one might look for in cases of peanut poisoning and what, exactly, might be involved in “brown-water rinsing.” …This may be one of those situations where you’re better off not asking questions, and in that spirit, maybe the next time we buy something along the roadside we should skip the tour, say “thanks,” and just be on our way.

Nuts to all of you!